my life as the 5 of wands

well mayhaps it's the supermoon we just had or the chaos leading up to mercurys retrograde wed. but I have argued more this week than I have in YEARS! lol about silly stuff that doesn't matter at all, it IS the 5 of wands arguing for the sake of arguing, OMG could I be turning into my grandfather? yikes!  the 5 of wands is silliness, sparring, and just basically it doesn't matter no ones gonna get hurt or do any real damage at all. it's just exhausting and a waste of time and energy and normally I wouldn't have bothered. glad I recognize now so I cant stop myself from takin the bait again or baiting others (i'm a master-baiter BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

of all things is started off about paula deen because I said I thought they were taking her words out of context and exaggerating them to make a news story, well gall darned if that didn't just piss off the pc police and when you jump at me I jump back! so through it all I just kept getting riled up and ready to punch somebody in their throat! lol

anywho after all of the turmoil in the shower last night I had my aha moment of clarity and here it is!

CLARITY! mayhaps I just got some in the shower. water tends to cleanse the palate and let the truth seep in for me. I think the reason paula deen is such a hot button issue is she's tweakin that which we hate in ourselves. cause EVERYONE wh...o has ever told a redneck, jewish, gay, polish, black, native American, dumb southerner joke is just as guilty. racism covers all races. I guess I empathize with her because I am her. I grew up in the deep south and have ingrained in me all the prejudices that go with it. it's inevitable you cant help it. I have however chosen to aschew those traits I don't morally agree with. do I use the "N-word" no I do not. I will admit though to it popping in my head when I get angry, just like cock-sucker and faggot do. and lord knows I don't have a problem with bein gay! lolol it's been shown time and again the worst gay bashers are closeted gay men. I also think bein a Gemini I more easily see the dual nature and both sides of an issue dispassionately like heinous speech that I loathe is still protected by the constitution and I absolutely stand by anothers right to do and say as they please as long as it doesn't infringe on my ability to do the same. thusly when we attack someone for doin something we have done we are attacking ourselves by trying to disassociate from that which is our own weakness. does this fix the problem no, but mayhaps if one person listens and looks within it will change the world one mind at a time! we are all human we are all relations we are all headin to the same destination even if we're traveling a thousand different paths to get there.

  this may not be a game changer for y'all but if you look inside mayhaps you'll be a better person when you confront those demons and deal with em!